FAQ
Your questions,
answered
Including the ones that are awkward for us. What it costs, what the other person can see, whether any of it is binding — and whether doing this without lawyers is a bad idea.
What does it cost?
Can they see my answers?
Is any of this binding?
Do I have to agree?
What if I say no?
Do I need my own lawyer?
Reviewed by Val Kleyman, Esq. — New York matrimonial and family law attorney, 20 years.
01
The basics
What this is, and whether it is for you.
What is SettleTerms™?
A place where two people who are separating work out what they can agree on, without sitting down together. You each answer the same questions privately, see what New York's formulas make of your numbers, and find out where you already agree. A built-in mediator, Neutra, works what's left — software, not a person. It's built by a New York family law attorney and it isn't a law firm.
Do I have to give my real name?
No. You sign in with an email address and a code, and you choose any first name you like for the screens — it is only what the two of you see here. No surname, address, phone number or Social Security number is asked for, and nothing you enter about your money, your property or your children is tied to who you are. Your answers are held against that email address and nothing else, are never shared with any law firm, and are never used to train any AI model. Real names come in only if the two of you go on to a signed document that has to carry them.
What if they won't do it?
Then this isn't the right route for you, and you'd want a lawyer. Two things worth knowing first: they see the same free assessment you did before deciding anything, and the cost difference talks a lot of people round. The fee is only kept once they finish their own side — so if they decline, ignore it, or start and give up, you get all $499 back.
Is it reckless to do a divorce without lawyers?
The risk in any agreement is signing something you don't understand. That's why this shows the arithmetic behind every figure rather than just the figure, and why we say at every turn to have your own attorney read it before you sign. Reading a finished agreement costs a fraction of a retainer. What we'd call reckless is spending five thousand dollars to discover what the issues are.
Isn't this just a template?
No. A template is a document with blanks. This works out what your situation actually contains, runs New York's own support formulas on your real numbers, compares your answers to theirs, and mediates the gaps. What you walk away with is the record of what the two of you settled, not a form with blanks in it.
We were never married. Is this for us?
Yes, for the parts that apply. Custody, a parenting schedule, child support and the add-on expenses work exactly the same. There's no marital property to divide and no spousal maintenance between you, so those questions never come up.
What do we actually end up with?
A detailed report of your whole case. Every issue, settled or still open. On the settled ones, exactly what the two of you agreed, in enough detail for an agreement to be drafted from it. On the open ones, both positions in full and the figures a court would use. The parenting schedule drawn on a calendar, night by night. You can print it or send it on, and it's yours whether or not you go any further.
Can we use this if we're still living together?
Yes. Plenty of people work through this before anyone moves out — and knowing the numbers first often changes who moves where. Nothing you do here is visible to anyone else in the house unless you show them.
02
What it costs
One price, when it's charged, and what happens if it doesn't work out.
Is it really $499 for both of us?
Yes — $499 between the two of you, not each, and that covers everything through Neutra, the built-in mediator, and the report. There's no hourly rate, nothing charged per issue and nothing extra for taking longer. Two people who need six weeks pay what two people who need two weeks pay. Free for now: the fee is waived, nothing is charged and no card is asked for.
When am I charged?
Free for now: the fee is waived, nothing is charged and no card is asked for. After the launch period: the $499 when you send the invitation, and not before. Everything up to that — the questions, your numbers, what you own, where you stand — is free and needs no account or card. If they haven't finished their side within 30 days, the refund is automatic and you don't have to ask.
What isn't included?
The court's own fees of about $335, paid to the court. An attorney, if you want one — to write up what you settled, or to see the divorce through — chosen by you and paid by you. And anyone you bring in on something still open: a mediator or an attorney sets their own rate and is paid directly. We take nothing from any of it.
Are there hidden charges?
No. The one price and the extras above are the whole list. You're never billed for time, and nothing renews.
What happens to everything I put in?
It's yours. You can download or delete everything you entered at any point, including after you've finished, and deleting it deletes it for good rather than hiding it.
What if we only settle some of it?
You keep everything you did settle, with the arithmetic behind every figure, and you take a short list to a mediator or an attorney instead of a whole divorce. That's a far smaller and far cheaper piece of work than starting cold, which is most of the point.
03
How it works
The order things happen in, and what the other person can see.
Can they see what I've written?
Not while you're writing it. Separate accounts, separate answers, and nothing of yours is shown to them — or theirs to you — until you've both answered the same question. Then you both see both, at the same moment. What neither of you ever sees: what the other said before changing their mind, and anything the other tells the mediator privately.
Do they need their own account?
Yes, and it's theirs rather than a way into yours. They answer the same questions on their own, including their own safety questions, and you never find out how that part went.
Can I see the questions before I pay?
You can answer all of them before you pay. The whole assessment and your own report cost nothing — the fee only starts when you decide to bring the other person in.
How long does it take?
The assessment is about seven minutes. After that it's your pace: nothing here needs the two of you free at the same moment, which is usually what turns mediation into months instead of weeks.
What if one of us lies about money?
The comparison shows where your two answers differ, which is often the first time anyone notices. It can't audit a bank account — nothing can, short of formal disclosure in a court case — and an agreement built on a figure that turns out to be false is one a court can be asked to undo.
Is what I put in here confidential?
From the other person, yes, until you've both answered — see above. From a court, don't assume so. This isn't a lawyer's office: nothing you enter is protected by attorney-client privilege, and whether the privilege that covers mediation reaches software is an open question. So treat anything you type here as something that could be read out in a court case one day, and leave out what you wouldn't want read.
Can I change my mind?
Any answer, right up until the two of you see it. And nothing is binding until you sign something, whatever you've agreed along the way.
04
Neutra, mediators and attorneys
Who the built-in mediator is, when you need a person, and who they act for.
Who is Neutra™?
Neutra is the mediator built into the platform. Software, not a person. It puts the same question to each of you separately, shows you both positions once both are in, and never tells either of you what to accept — it asks, and the decision stays yours. The name is Latin for neither of the two.
How does a round with Neutra go?
Each round, you each enter a position, sealed. On your own screen, when you have a minute. Hold where you are, move towards them, or take their position — never away. Neither of you sees the other's until both are in. Both are revealed at once. Nobody goes first. If the positions meet or cross, the issue is settled. If not, the next round opens, up to six. Neutra is there when you want it. One tap opens a private conversation. On money and property it can show what each position comes to over time, lay out ways to close the gap as questions, explain the formula and the cap, and say what leaving an issue open costs. On the children it only asks which difference matters most to you. A match closes the issue. It goes into your report as agreed. If a round passes with nobody moving, each of you is asked privately what you would sign; if those overlap it settles, and if not it stays open, for the two of you or for a professional. Along the way it works only what’s left — the issues you haven’t already agreed; shows you both positions, once both are in; does the arithmetic, and shows its working when you ask; writes what you agree into your report, in plain words.
Why a mediator that is software?
Private: What you say to it never reaches the other person. Only a yes does. Calmer: Nobody sits across a table from anybody. The argument has nowhere to start. Yours: You can always say no. On every issue, the decision stays with the two of you. Cheaper: Every issue it closes is one fewer to pay lawyers to argue about.
What does Neutra see, and what does it pass on?
It sees both of your positions once both are in, and it talks to each of you separately. What you say to it stays on your side: the only thing that ever crosses to the other person is a position you enter, and only once theirs is in too. It never says who said yes, and it never repeats what either of you told it.
Do we still need lawyers?
You don't need one to use this. What you settle here goes on your report in enough detail for an attorney to draw the agreement from it, and having your own attorney read anything before you sign is worth paying for — a much smaller job than a retainer. We're not your lawyer and we won't pretend otherwise.
Can one lawyer act for both of us?
Not as your lawyers — two people in one divorce are adverse to each other, and the same attorney can't represent both. A mediator is different: the two of you can go to one together, because a mediator is neutral and isn't acting as anyone's lawyer.
Does the founder's firm get our case?
No. Val Kleyman practices matrimonial law in New York and built this, and the platform doesn't route anyone to his firm. If you need a lawyer you choose one, from anywhere you like.
05
Signing, filing and whether it holds
What an agreement does once it exists.
Is what we agree legally binding?
A signed settlement agreement is a contract between the two of you, and it becomes part of your divorce when a court approves it. Anything to do with children a judge looks at independently, whatever the two of you agreed.
Does a court have to approve it?
Yes. You file it, there's a court fee, and a judge reads it. Agreed between the two of you is not the same as ordered, and where children are involved a court applies its own view of their interests regardless of what you signed.
How long does an uncontested divorce take in New York?
The court's own processing time is the slow part and it varies a lot by county. That clock starts when you file — the agreement itself is usually done in weeks, and it's the part the two of you actually control.
What about retirement accounts and pensions?
How they're divided goes in the agreement. Actually moving money out of a 401(k) or a pension without a tax penalty usually needs a separate court order called a QDRO, prepared by a specialist. We'll tell you if you're likely to need one.
Can we change it later?
Support and arrangements for children can be revisited when circumstances change — that's true of any agreement or order in New York. Property division is generally meant to be final, which is the reason to have somebody read it before you sign.
06
Where this doesn't fit
The situations we'd rather turn away than take money for.
Is this available outside New York?
Not yet. Every number and every form here is specific to New York, so if you're somewhere else this won't help you — and we'll say so in the first thirty seconds rather than take your evening.
What if there's fear or control at home?
Then this is the wrong tool, and we'll say so. Sitting down as equals isn't safe where one person is afraid of the other, and there are a few private questions early on for exactly that reason. The New York State Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline is 1-800-942-6906, free and confidential, at any hour.
What if our finances are complicated?
A business, a pension already paying out, foreign assets, or a house the two of you can't agree on may need a professional valuation, and this can't do that. It can still settle everything around them, which is usually most of it.
What about the pets?
New York treats a pet as property with a difference: a court looks at what's best for the animal. Here, nobody proposes anything about a pet, the same as with children. If you both want to keep one, the platform suggests working out a sharing arrangement between yourselves, and writes down whatever the two of you decide.
What if we can't agree on anything at all?
That happens, and it's a real answer rather than a failure. You keep your own report and the calculations, and you'd take it to a mediator or an attorney — who at least starts knowing exactly where the two of you stand.
Still wondering? Find out in seven minutes.
It costs nothing, nobody is contacted, and you can stop whenever you like.
See where you stand →